


Light and Life

by devilinthedetails



Series: Naboo's Queen [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet News, Drama, F/M, Gen, Pregnancy, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26181043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devilinthedetails/pseuds/devilinthedetails
Summary: Padme learns she is pregnant and shares this news with Anakin.
Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Series: Naboo's Queen [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1901239
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Light and Life

Light and Life

Anakin was gone from Coruscant—fighting the Separatists in the Outer Rim Sieges—and Padme was alone when her monthly cycles didn’t come. Taking deep breaths, she tried not to panic in the refresher, telling herself that her cycle must be delayed. It’d happened before that the stress of the Senate had made her cycle late. 

As the days passed, her cycle proved not just tardy, but downright missing in action to use military jargon that’d become commonplace even on the Senate floor since the outbreak of galactic civil war. When two months went by without her cycle but with the burning bile of sickness in the morning, aversions to foods and smells she’d always found pleasant, bloating in her legs, and bone-deep fatigue, she could no longer deny something was wrong with her. 

She had her suspicions but sought to trample them down in the pit of her churning stomach as she laid on the shimmersilk blankets of her sleep couch and sent a handmaiden in search of a medical droid programmed for complete patient confidentiality. 

When the medical droid had arrived and the handmaiden had been dismissed from the room, Padme described her symptoms in a voice that struggled not to tremble. 

“No cycles for two months, nausea in the mornings, aversion to foods and smells, and fatigue.” The medical droid reeled off her symptoms with mechanical dispassion then whirred as it referenced its extensive databases to determine her most likely condition. No female—no adult member of any species capable of bearing children—would have needed to consult a database to reach such a conclusion, Padme thought, but somehow it still had seemed necessary to summon a medical droid to confirm the presence of the life she sensed growing within her. “My lady may be pregnant.” 

The droid extended a cold, metallic approximation of a hand and rested it above Padme’s womb. Padme could feel gentle sound waves radiating from the droid, checking for a baby growing within her. Green sensors flared as the droid finished its diagnosis. “My lady is indeed pregnant.” 

“Pregnant?” Padme echoed, feeling as if she’d just been smashed with a ton of durasteel. She may have suspected that she was pregnant, but she hadn’t really believed it until the droid had made this pronouncement in a detached, mechanical manner. 

“My databases assure me that it is natural for a woman to experience shock when first informed she is pregnant, and my auditory processing facilities register the tone of your astonishment as within normal parameters.” The droid’s words were far from reassuring and only became more disconcerting as it continued, “My records show that you are a single woman, Senator.” 

Padme nodded. Of course she was listed as single in all her medical and other records. She couldn’t afford to be listed as married to a Jedi. That would get Anakin expelled from the Order with no hope of appeal. 

“Many single women do not wish their pregnancy to come to term,” the droid went on without appearing to notice Padme’s nod. “There are pills I am authorized to dispense to you now that will terminate your pregnancy, or if you require more time to make your decision, I can be called to perform a surgery that will have the same effect at a latter date.” 

“I’ve already made up my mind.” Padme’s palms folded protectively over her womb. She couldn’t imagine ending the life she could feel growing inside her—the life she had created with Anakin that felt like a light shining inside her, a blazing hope for the future. “I will carry this pregnancy to term if I can.” 

“Then you must eat a nutritious diet.” The droid began outlining the foods she should eat—fruits and vegetables high in vitamins and minerals—and the drinks—primarily alcoholic—she should avoid. It ended its advice minutes later with the statement that she should have her handmaidens schedule monthly appointments with a med droid to ensure that her pregnancy stayed safe and healthy. 

Padme kept her pregnancy a searing secret within herself until Anakin returned to Coruscant from the front. She wasn’t happy about what had brought him back to Coruscant—the invasion of the Republic’s capital and the kidnapping of Chancellor Palpatine even if she felt increasingly alienated from the Chancellor for the powers he was accumulating in the Senate—but she was so relieved to see him again. 

Her heart danced as she stood in the shadows of a grand pillar, waiting for him to conclude a conversation with her friend, Senator Bail Organa of Alderaan. Glimpsing her behind the pillar, Anakin abruptly excused himself and raced over to her, arms open wide to embrace her as hers were to receive him. 

He hugged her fiercely to him, lifting her into the air and spinning her around so she became dizzy. Her spirit spiraling inside her as he set her on the ground, she kissed him, murmuring, “Oh, Anakin.” 

She couldn’t say anything else, her words trailing away into a sigh of pleasure at seeing him again—at being able to hold him close to her beating heart.

His lips were pressed against her neck so she could feel every syllable as he spoke. “I’ve missed you, Padme.” 

“There were whispers that you’d been killed.” Padme found herself panting with worry about losing him even though he was standing before her. The very thought of the child inside her being born without a father made her feel sick with sorrow. 

“I’m all right.” Anakin smiled at her with the rakish, daring, and dauntless grin that had made her fall in love with him in the first place. He gave a soft laugh before adding with a touch of ruefulness, “It feels like we’ve been apart for a lifetime, and it might have been if the Chancellor hadn’t been kidnapped. I don’t think they ever would’ve ever brought us back from the Outer Rim Sieges.” 

He kissed Padme with an insatiable hunger. Knowing where that hunger would lead, she protested, “Wait. Not here.” 

“Yes, here,” Anakin insisted, and Padme realized with a sinking sensation in her stomach that they weren’t just talking about kissing behind this pillar. They were talking once again about Anakin declaring his love for her openly and leaving the Jedi Order. “I’m tired of all this deception. I don’t care if they know we’re married.” 

“Anakin, don’t say things like that.” Panicked at how hot his passion could burn for her, Padme tried to dampen his flames. 

Instead of replying, he pulled her into an embrace again. Perhaps he felt her heart thudding inside her and recognized that it was hammering with anxiety as much as excitement for he asked, “Are you all right? You’re trembling. What’s going on?” 

Padme hadn’t noticed she was shaking until he mentioned it. Once he commented on it, she could feel herself wavering like grass on the windy plains of Naboo. 

“Something wonderful has happened.” With every word from her mouth, she hoped that he would indeed find something wonderful in the news and not just a burden. “Annie, I’m pregnant.” 

“That’s”—he stared at his feet, absorbing the enormity of what she’d said, fumbling for words, and finally settling on a repeat of hers—“that’s wonderful.” 

His smile—broader than any she’d ever seen from him—assured her that he truly did believe that her news was a joy. His smile was so wide that she started to fear he saw only the joy in her pregnancy and not the problems it could pose for them both. 

“What are we going to do?” She willed him to be serious—to acknowledge the gravity of their situation on the cusp of bringing new life into the galaxy. 

“We’re not going to worry about anything right now, all right?” Still smiling, he stroked soothingly at her arms. His fingers brushed under her chin, drawing a grin from her. “This is a happy moment. The happiest moment of my life.” 

With his eyes sparkling like sunrise down at her, she could convince herself that perhaps this truly was the happiest moment of his life, of her life, of the lives they had entwined together years ago with the blessing of a holy man by a blue Naboo lakeside at sunset. 

Part of her—the foreboding inside her that always had to worry and could never be content—wondered if the happiest moment of his life should’ve been reserved for holding their child after she gave birth. 

Anakin never did hold either of their children—it turned out she had been pregnant with twins—because he wasn’t beside her when the twins were born. It was Obi-Wan next to her as she cried in pain, bringing new life into a galaxy under a dictatorship. Obi-Wan was gentle and shared her sorrow at Anakin’s fate, but he wasn’t her Anakin—he would never be her Anakin—and that broke her heart.


End file.
